YEP, its pretty close to that.  The more and more I look into this subject the more and more it begins to suck.  The MPAA (Motion Picture Association of America) is the organization consisting volunteers from married parents with a “shared parenthod experience,” clergy members, and studio heads that gives movies, trailers and now “any public content” a rating.

Here are my problems with the MPAA:

1) Their system of rating is secret and random.

Thats right, there is no standard system as to what determines an R or even a G rated movie.  A logical group of individuals would say 1 boob + 3 sex scenes + 4 quarts of blood = R.  Nope, instead the board gets together, watches the footage and then votes.  If the 8 panel board is a tie, the director of the board votes again as the tie breaker.  Its all opinion based, and the planel definitly allowes violence over sex. 

2) Quid Pro Quo

If you don’t know what that is, or just know it as somehting Hannibal Lecter says in Silence of the Lambs then let me educate you.  Quid Pro Quo literely means “something for something.”  In other words, I’ll give you a raise but you are going to have to start wearing lower cut blouses.  

Both studios and indie directors have to submit to the MPAA’s demands.  You give them your film, and they spit out a rating.  The problem is that if you are a studio, they’ll give you suggestions as to what to edit to get the rating you are looking for.  If your an Indie film, they’ll give it back to you….in a paper bag, filled with dog shit, and then light it on fire on your doorstep.  Actually to be more acurate, they’ll probably call you to come pick it up and then light it on fire at their offices.  So they basically kiss up to the people who pay them the most money, and that means actually taking bribes from the film companies.

3) They are like the Empire.

The relationships here are outstanding.  First off, if you are a filmmaker and want to be shown in theateres you need an MPAA rating.  That is because the MPAA has a deal with The North American Theater Owners (NATO ironically) which says that NATO will never show a non MPAA rated movie.  NATO on the other hand also says they will never show an NC-17 movie. 

Would have been 100% better with penetration

“Hey, maybe we can just go straight to DVD since DVD sales are through the roof.”  I would agree with you…that is until you realize that the biggest sellers of DVDs are Blockbuster and Wal-Mart who both refues to sell NC-17 rated movies.  So yah, the whole thing is your choice to do, but you have to do it if you want your movie to be shown.  That does not sound like freedom to me!

Second, not only do they control the movie industry, but they are spreading their fat little fingers into every sort of media that comes out of a movie.  That means trailers (which have been rated for some time now), internet trailers, internet web sites, movie clips, and even video that isn’t even in the movie…like promotional material.  Oh yah, and they are spear heading the whole “no illegal pirating” movement.

So basically, the MPAA is trying to take away your freedom, all so your kids don’t see some side boob in their next Disney movie.

Personally, I think it would be good for my kids to see a little more sex then violence in movies, and by “my kids” I mean your kids by the way.  Make love not war, right?!  Anyway, so yah, the MPAA sucks and should be regulated with a finite system of checks and balances so that we can all see the head exploding, fornicating, two gun holding, orgy filled movies we want to. 

Also, is it me or does the MPAA logo look like the Deathstar?  You decide….