So the other day, Colin, Graham, Justin and a bunch of other people were getting read to go out.  We started talking about movies that were absolutly out there.  The kinds that you are just think to yourself “What drugs was someone on when the wrote this….and are they still alive or did they OD?”

Halfway through our conversation I remebered that I had recently bought a little gem entitled “Big Trouble In Little China”.  We proceeded to watch the movie and it brought back a wave of childhood memories and emotions. 

If you haven’t seen this movie, you need to.  IMD’s synopsis of it is as follows: “An All-American trucker gets dragged into a centuries-old mystical battle in Chinatown.”

My synopsis is better:

Plus…

Plus…

….and then…..

…Add a little of this…

…and finish it off with a touch of this…

You have the best movie ever made!

Seriously though, every dude should have this movie in their movie collection.  Watch it today and laugh the night away.  The sad thing is that movie like this are never going to be made again.  Close your eyes and imagine what the pitch to the films CEO was.

Writer - “So this trucker guy gets stuck in San Franscisco China Town, where he gets attacked by a gang of ninjas who are backed up by three super ninja demons and then he runs over this ninja chinese demon ghost guy…”

CEO – “Wait wait wait, What?”

Writer - “I know its slow at first, but then it gets better.  So they run over this ninja demon old dude…oh wait, I forgot to mention they steal the trucker’s asian side kicks green eyed asian girlfriend.  Anyway, so they regroup at this chinese restaurant where this lawyer comes in all wet, and leads them to where they have her hidden in this whore house.  When they try to…”

CEO - “Who is they?”

Writer – “The crazy trucker, his asian sidekick, the asian sidekick’s asian sidekick friend, the hot lawyer, and the hot lawyers reporter friend.”

CEO - “That makes so much sense, it hurts.”

Writer - “So the trucker dresses up as this nerdy dude to try and to save the green eye asian sidekicks girlfriend, when right when he has the chance, the entire whore house is enveloped in a giant green magical ball, and the three super ninja demon guys steal her away.”

CEO - “Ok, I think thats enough, no way am I making this movie.  Not only will I not make this movie, but I think you are either on something hard, or insane.”

Writer - “So then they all escape from this old guy “Lo Pans” place and then they meet this sorcere named Eggplant.  Who prepares them for battle and to defeat Lo Pan.”

CEO - “Guards, escort this man out of here.”

Writer - “Magic, Flying sword fights, neon skull in ancient temple…”

CEO - “GUARDS!!!”

Writer - “Exploding diamond grenades!  Exploding people!  Monsters!”

*After the Writer is thrown out on the curb*

CEO - “Cindy, get me Marcus…I’ve got a great idea for a movie.”